So it is 8 o'clock in the morning and I just got back from going to the Rexburg Temple, and let me tell you guys, I love it there. No matter how I feel I can go and relax even if it's for two mins and then my mind starts going to other things, but even that two mins is enough for me to listen to my Heavenly Father and his will for me at this time.
This particular snowy morning I was sitting in the chapel of the temple after my session, I took out my mini Preach my Gospel and was trying to find a place to take some notes of either my thoughts or some of the things I needed to do today and stumbled upon a letter David had written me. I thought my heart was going to come out my throat. This isn't the first time this has happened, the Lord seems to through him in my face often, daily in fact, but I understand that. So while I was reading this letter he had written me I was almost begging Heavenly Father that we could be...something again. I didn't even care what it was, something that I could have him in my life again. After my cry fest in the chapel I opened my heart, opened my mind, and was willing to do what the Lord wants me to do.
This what my loving Heavenly Father told me to do, to write. To get all of my crap out, and all my frustrations will come to a close. I told him that I will put it in His hands, but if by some awesome circumstance that David might read this and have his heart softened that would be even better, BUT I am not banking on that, and I will still progress, still move forward with my plans and life.
Now that we all know why I am writing, I am going to say a couple things I am struggling with; one I am struggling with not having David in my life. It has snowed here and this time last year I was with him, enjoying the snow, but I know that is the way life goes....but ya know what?? I am not going to say how I should be feeling okay. I feel this way and I just going to say it. I miss David. I miss watching Frozen with him, I miss him talking to me, I miss him pushing me to talk, (cause I haven't since he left), I miss his loving letters everywhere (even though I keep finding them), I miss him being a gentlemen to me. Okay. So that is the David situation.
Now I miss snowboarding. I don't think I'll be able to get to do much this season either but the utter happiness I feel being on the mountain is something I can't express in words.
I miss having a simple life. I miss not having to choose what grad school to go to or whether or not to go to grad school. I miss my mom.
Okay, now I'm done with that. I hope that you all know that I am not bipolar...kinda, I am just trying my hardest to follow my Father in heaven.
I have done my part in writing. I hope that I feel better soon. I'll just keep up the prayers and study. It's the cure to everything right?
This particular snowy morning I was sitting in the chapel of the temple after my session, I took out my mini Preach my Gospel and was trying to find a place to take some notes of either my thoughts or some of the things I needed to do today and stumbled upon a letter David had written me. I thought my heart was going to come out my throat. This isn't the first time this has happened, the Lord seems to through him in my face often, daily in fact, but I understand that. So while I was reading this letter he had written me I was almost begging Heavenly Father that we could be...something again. I didn't even care what it was, something that I could have him in my life again. After my cry fest in the chapel I opened my heart, opened my mind, and was willing to do what the Lord wants me to do.
This what my loving Heavenly Father told me to do, to write. To get all of my crap out, and all my frustrations will come to a close. I told him that I will put it in His hands, but if by some awesome circumstance that David might read this and have his heart softened that would be even better, BUT I am not banking on that, and I will still progress, still move forward with my plans and life.
Now that we all know why I am writing, I am going to say a couple things I am struggling with; one I am struggling with not having David in my life. It has snowed here and this time last year I was with him, enjoying the snow, but I know that is the way life goes....but ya know what?? I am not going to say how I should be feeling okay. I feel this way and I just going to say it. I miss David. I miss watching Frozen with him, I miss him talking to me, I miss him pushing me to talk, (cause I haven't since he left), I miss his loving letters everywhere (even though I keep finding them), I miss him being a gentlemen to me. Okay. So that is the David situation.
Now I miss snowboarding. I don't think I'll be able to get to do much this season either but the utter happiness I feel being on the mountain is something I can't express in words.
I miss having a simple life. I miss not having to choose what grad school to go to or whether or not to go to grad school. I miss my mom.
Okay, now I'm done with that. I hope that you all know that I am not bipolar...kinda, I am just trying my hardest to follow my Father in heaven.
I have done my part in writing. I hope that I feel better soon. I'll just keep up the prayers and study. It's the cure to everything right?
