Hello Dear,
So today for some reason I couldn't get you out of my head, what you were doing, why you are doing it, if you were happy, if you were talking to other girls already, if you have given up, if you just didn't care at all, my list is seriously endless. We were walking around in Balboa Park, and I swear I saw you walk around corners at least three times. I miss you so much. I felt like I was going to see you walk around a corner and see your face. I know the minute I see you it's going to change everything. I know that I am going to go either way. I miss you David.
I know that right now I need to have been moved on, and started my grieving process, but I love you and my life is going to have to completely change if I need to move on. I have been talking to my family so much about it, and I think I need to just hear your voice to know if I should move on, but the fact that you don't even want to talk make me think that maybe all my pain is in vain. I wish we could talk, but I erased your number so that I wouldn't be tempted. I know that I would have talked to you a long time ago if it was still in my phone.
You being three hours ahead of me has helped as well, at least its closer for you to maybe call me, text me, send me a smoke signal, something! I am dying over here. And I am more nervous to go home, to be alone. I seriously still feel like I am in another universe, and I hate it. I miss you more than anything sweetheart. I love you. And I hope that you will either tell me this is it, or something. Please just get ahold of me. I love you David James. Please help me move on. I'm sorry that I'm such a loony and that I just make your life harder than it should be. And I understand if you need time, but the longer you wait...the farther I'll drift. I'm sorry. I wish, with all my heart, that I would be able to be with you.
I love you.
Always yours,
Chels
