I am trying my hardest to stay awake in my math class right now and I think I fell asleep twice with my mouth wide open. Goodness. So I thought I would write.
But before we start I just hope that the person who I am writing this for actually reads this. He most likely will not but I hope he does. I have mentioned him before. He knows who he is. And if I had to choose one thing that I am good at is writing about "break-ups". So, here we go.
Let me first give you some background on this momentous event. Mckenon. (Yeah, I'm just going to say it.) if you had read the ones before you would know my ideas on him. After I wrote that last one Mallorie Lane came in and asked me promptly why I had written about him in the past tense, and to tell you all the truth, I never thought it would last. I never thought he could settle. I was thinking (shocker there huh?) that I have never, ever had a boyfriend. Isn't that sad? I never got to change my facebook status, I have never been able to say I was "dating" someone I was always just "talking" or some chaunt like that. How depressing, but the saddest thing is that most girls I know, are like me. And if their not they're either pregnant or scarred cause they made a horrible choice. Now I am not complaining. My life has been pretty darn fabulous, but one can always dream right? I mean that's what we're here for!
Now, back to the story. Mckenon and I really are, sorry were, great together. We were fun, he knew things that I liked and he would do them, he I thought at least at times that needed me. That was the thing though I never completely knew. But the thing is, is I feel that way about every guy I have been with. But every time there is a catch; I like them more than they like me. This didn't happen every time but the time that it didn't I would lose interest. Freaking Sucks. Ha! So I just gotta get this out.
Good ol' Mckenon and I aren't what we were two nights ago. I have no idea what happened. I just started talking and last night, and ended up losing...whatever the heck we were. At times I get super frustrated thinking about it, but I think again and I am very happy. Really. I know that all this stuff is happening for some stinking reason. It might completely blow. But it's happening, and I know that I'll be totally great. Which I am! I mean gosh, I already have a date tonight! But I know I will miss him and I wonder if he was the one..but I don't wonder too much. Haha. In the end it's all up to the man, at least in all my experiences. In this case Mckenon could have had me. End of story. But I think I knew deep down that he could never settle for someone like me. I am not bashing myself at all. I love myself and am happy by the way I have turned out but Mckenon...and I. I guess all this doesn't matter at this point hahaha. So why ponder.
This is what I want. I want to tell someone that I don't want them, but not take no for an answer. I want a movie moment. I want someone to just fight for me. Sometimes I think I just push them away just so that they will fight. That's it. I just want a fighter.
I am Chelsea Applegate, I have been broken hearted waayyyy to many times. I am going on a date tonight and I am going to have fun.
But can't life just turn out my way sometime?
It's coming. I feel it.
But before we start I just hope that the person who I am writing this for actually reads this. He most likely will not but I hope he does. I have mentioned him before. He knows who he is. And if I had to choose one thing that I am good at is writing about "break-ups". So, here we go.
Let me first give you some background on this momentous event. Mckenon. (Yeah, I'm just going to say it.) if you had read the ones before you would know my ideas on him. After I wrote that last one Mallorie Lane came in and asked me promptly why I had written about him in the past tense, and to tell you all the truth, I never thought it would last. I never thought he could settle. I was thinking (shocker there huh?) that I have never, ever had a boyfriend. Isn't that sad? I never got to change my facebook status, I have never been able to say I was "dating" someone I was always just "talking" or some chaunt like that. How depressing, but the saddest thing is that most girls I know, are like me. And if their not they're either pregnant or scarred cause they made a horrible choice. Now I am not complaining. My life has been pretty darn fabulous, but one can always dream right? I mean that's what we're here for!
Now, back to the story. Mckenon and I really are, sorry were, great together. We were fun, he knew things that I liked and he would do them, he I thought at least at times that needed me. That was the thing though I never completely knew. But the thing is, is I feel that way about every guy I have been with. But every time there is a catch; I like them more than they like me. This didn't happen every time but the time that it didn't I would lose interest. Freaking Sucks. Ha! So I just gotta get this out.
Good ol' Mckenon and I aren't what we were two nights ago. I have no idea what happened. I just started talking and last night, and ended up losing...whatever the heck we were. At times I get super frustrated thinking about it, but I think again and I am very happy. Really. I know that all this stuff is happening for some stinking reason. It might completely blow. But it's happening, and I know that I'll be totally great. Which I am! I mean gosh, I already have a date tonight! But I know I will miss him and I wonder if he was the one..but I don't wonder too much. Haha. In the end it's all up to the man, at least in all my experiences. In this case Mckenon could have had me. End of story. But I think I knew deep down that he could never settle for someone like me. I am not bashing myself at all. I love myself and am happy by the way I have turned out but Mckenon...and I. I guess all this doesn't matter at this point hahaha. So why ponder.
This is what I want. I want to tell someone that I don't want them, but not take no for an answer. I want a movie moment. I want someone to just fight for me. Sometimes I think I just push them away just so that they will fight. That's it. I just want a fighter.
I am Chelsea Applegate, I have been broken hearted waayyyy to many times. I am going on a date tonight and I am going to have fun.
But can't life just turn out my way sometime?
It's coming. I feel it.
