This blog post is going to help me move on with a couple things. Recently I have been trying to downsize my anxiety and in doing so I need to take care of a couple things. So first, I want to say a couple things to a couple people.
They will remain nameless, but if they read it...they will know who they are.
To the two people I look up to and love: I am blessed beyond words to have been influenced by you two my whole life. I know that without you in my life I wouldn't be anywhere near the women I am becoming. Thank you for all your sacrifice, it doesn't go unnoticed.
To the people I push away: I am sorry that I am emotionally constipated at times. The best advice I have for you is either your patience will be tried, and tried well, or get out now. But, I am trying my hardest to not push so hard and open up again.
To my gorgeous sister: I hope you pick a college that is best for you. This decision is something that Heavenly Father will direct you...you just have to lose yourself in goodness sissy. Also I want you to remember how freaking amazing you are. And I truly hope you tell yourself that everyday, Cause I know that I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for sending me such an angel. I love you sissy.
To my extremely bright brother: I love you brother. I really do. When you told me you were leaving for China...I was pretty distraught. I then realized how much I do love having you at school with me. I hope you find a way to reach those goals you have set for yourself, whether they be secular, spiritual, academically, or socially. I know that you can do it. Just lose yourself in love for others. No matter who it is. I love you. Thanks so much for your love and happiness in my life.
To the boy I love: This may or may not have been the main purpose for this post, but who knows! I want you to know that I do still love you, although I am learning many things in our time apart. I have learned to be alone. To physically and mentally be alone. I never realized how completely dependent I was and how scary it is. But I am coming to the realization that my relationship with The Lord is all that matters, and if I want to get close to anyone then it is through Him that I am able to do these things. I am becoming very dependent on His love and teachings. I love you still very much. But I am very glad you are doing what you are doing. Thank you for not giving up on me. I love you for that. And if you decide to give up on me someday, then the Lord will work it all out. And it is that faith that I am coming to rely on, after that everything will fall into place.
I'm sure I have mentioned this before people, but time...it is a funny thing. It can be disatrious, life-changing, never ending, impossible and many more. As J.R.R Tolkien would say “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
They will remain nameless, but if they read it...they will know who they are.
To the two people I look up to and love: I am blessed beyond words to have been influenced by you two my whole life. I know that without you in my life I wouldn't be anywhere near the women I am becoming. Thank you for all your sacrifice, it doesn't go unnoticed.
To the people I push away: I am sorry that I am emotionally constipated at times. The best advice I have for you is either your patience will be tried, and tried well, or get out now. But, I am trying my hardest to not push so hard and open up again.
To my gorgeous sister: I hope you pick a college that is best for you. This decision is something that Heavenly Father will direct you...you just have to lose yourself in goodness sissy. Also I want you to remember how freaking amazing you are. And I truly hope you tell yourself that everyday, Cause I know that I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for sending me such an angel. I love you sissy.
To my extremely bright brother: I love you brother. I really do. When you told me you were leaving for China...I was pretty distraught. I then realized how much I do love having you at school with me. I hope you find a way to reach those goals you have set for yourself, whether they be secular, spiritual, academically, or socially. I know that you can do it. Just lose yourself in love for others. No matter who it is. I love you. Thanks so much for your love and happiness in my life.
To the boy I love: This may or may not have been the main purpose for this post, but who knows! I want you to know that I do still love you, although I am learning many things in our time apart. I have learned to be alone. To physically and mentally be alone. I never realized how completely dependent I was and how scary it is. But I am coming to the realization that my relationship with The Lord is all that matters, and if I want to get close to anyone then it is through Him that I am able to do these things. I am becoming very dependent on His love and teachings. I love you still very much. But I am very glad you are doing what you are doing. Thank you for not giving up on me. I love you for that. And if you decide to give up on me someday, then the Lord will work it all out. And it is that faith that I am coming to rely on, after that everything will fall into place.
I'm sure I have mentioned this before people, but time...it is a funny thing. It can be disatrious, life-changing, never ending, impossible and many more. As J.R.R Tolkien would say “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Time is a gift, remember that what we do with it should be decided with the help of the supreme creator. He is like the ultimate therapist. But sometimes it is hard to get into see Him. But we must remember our divine purpose. And trust in the Lord's timing.
