Well, I am leaving. I am officially packing. It feels so weird, and awesome. I see all these pics of everyone at college and it kinda freaks me out. I am afraid I am either going to have that and feel super weird, or I will not have that at all and feel like a freakin loser. Ha. Stupid thoughts. Sometimes I wish I could just shut them off!
So my dad informed me last week that in december if I don't have money for the next semester then I don't go to school. This was after a week with my friends (pretty much meaning spending lots of money) anyway I feel like I have been had! Here I am thinking that oh my parents will be there for me. They are but I understand where they are coming from, and I mean isn't that what college is all about? Being dirt poor and never having food? haha well, that is going to happen. I feel it. I am excited to be poor.
The boy front. Is still there. Suck. It sucks. I call it a front for a reason. There are about..3 kinda 4 soldiers that I have to fight with in my head. Sometimes it is nice to have them there like on the nights, when..well ya know. And I loved that life for a while..but now I am getting just so..tired of it. I like each and everyone of these people. But I am leaving. Thank goodness. One of them I want to take with me. One of them I love but I can't. (I saw him yesterday, it was like a stabbing that I could barely handle. Gosh I sound like freakin bella. :P) Two of them went to school at NMSU. One of them I worked with all summer. And one of them is on a mission. Oh gosh. I sound like an idiot. Soon I will be on the road to new adventure! And I can find new boy soldiers to fight with there. People keep telling me that I am going to get married. Oh, I hope that doesn't happen. I am so afraid of that too. But ya know what? My fears can suck it.
Getting back to the purpose of this post. I think its mostly about thoughts, and how we let it rule our lives. I have been watching Doctor Who, recently (it is so addicting, it's like a drug.) And The Doctor, never takes what is put in front of him. He turns things into what he wants them. Now I am not saying that everything you can change, but MOST things you can try at least, and sometimes that is enough. I am trying to take everything is given me recently and mold it into what I need. Not want, but need. They are two completely different things. I love thoughts, but someday they will be the death of me, or of a relationship. Don't let thoughts control you people. Make a difference. (I sound so cheesy. But I love it!)
So my dad informed me last week that in december if I don't have money for the next semester then I don't go to school. This was after a week with my friends (pretty much meaning spending lots of money) anyway I feel like I have been had! Here I am thinking that oh my parents will be there for me. They are but I understand where they are coming from, and I mean isn't that what college is all about? Being dirt poor and never having food? haha well, that is going to happen. I feel it. I am excited to be poor.
The boy front. Is still there. Suck. It sucks. I call it a front for a reason. There are about..3 kinda 4 soldiers that I have to fight with in my head. Sometimes it is nice to have them there like on the nights, when..well ya know. And I loved that life for a while..but now I am getting just so..tired of it. I like each and everyone of these people. But I am leaving. Thank goodness. One of them I want to take with me. One of them I love but I can't. (I saw him yesterday, it was like a stabbing that I could barely handle. Gosh I sound like freakin bella. :P) Two of them went to school at NMSU. One of them I worked with all summer. And one of them is on a mission. Oh gosh. I sound like an idiot. Soon I will be on the road to new adventure! And I can find new boy soldiers to fight with there. People keep telling me that I am going to get married. Oh, I hope that doesn't happen. I am so afraid of that too. But ya know what? My fears can suck it.
Getting back to the purpose of this post. I think its mostly about thoughts, and how we let it rule our lives. I have been watching Doctor Who, recently (it is so addicting, it's like a drug.) And The Doctor, never takes what is put in front of him. He turns things into what he wants them. Now I am not saying that everything you can change, but MOST things you can try at least, and sometimes that is enough. I am trying to take everything is given me recently and mold it into what I need. Not want, but need. They are two completely different things. I love thoughts, but someday they will be the death of me, or of a relationship. Don't let thoughts control you people. Make a difference. (I sound so cheesy. But I love it!)
